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Both life-long Episcopalians, she and her husband “felt strongly that children should have a religious education.” They raised their four children at the Redeemer, where most of them were baptized and two of them were married. Her daughter Barbara even served as a youth representative to the Vestry and all of the children were involved in some sort of church-sponsored youth group. Betty describes the church as belonging to more of a “parish concept” back then, where most of the parishioners lived in the immediately surrounding community.

Betty has been a member through multiple Rector changes, citing Rev. Donald Bitsberger as the best preacher, and grateful to the last Rector, Rev. Dorsey McConnell for helping her through her grief when her husband died of lung cancer six years ago.

“I had many theological debates with Dorsey [someone known for his orthodox approach] because I think metaphorically… [yet] I’m a believer.” She describes herself as a lover of traditional liturgy despite her theological “cutting edge.” There has always been room for theological discussion at the Redemer throughout the years. She particularly remembers discussing the virgin birth and other miracles with children as a Sunday School teacher when her children were little.

As an art historian, she appreciates being surrounded by the beautiful art of the church, its architecture, its stained glass windows, and its music.

Now, after so many years, she values most her personal history at the Redeemer and her friends. “I feel like I belong here, and that’s important when you are an old widow.” She keeps connected as a member of the Eldercare Committee, taking the lead on planning a field trip for this fall, as well as adding her counsel to the Grounds Committee and the Pastoral Care Committee.

Betty credits the church for contributing to her children’s “upbringing of caring” which has lead all of them to persue nonprofit careers. She hopes the next phase of Redeemer life will support and relate to a younger congregation and its concerns as it did for her children. Although there might be a temptation in the future to move away from traditional Episcopal liturgy to accommodate those who were not raised in the church, she hopes the traditional liturgy will stay. “Liturgy is a large part of what makes us Episcopalians.”

“We are very happy with the foundation of faith that has been instilled in our children as a result of attending Church School here,” Graeme says. His children are now all post-Confirmation age and have been given the choice of whether or not to attend church. All three say they have a connection to the community here and also with God. “They continue to have a curiosity around exploring their faith and applying it.”

In 2009, Graeme and Debby took their three children on a mission trip to Pilgrim Africa. Then 12-year-old Zach made the insightful comment that “in Uganda people have nothing and yet they are happy, and in America we have all of this stuff and we are generally grumpy.” Graeme says it was “definitively transformative for them, both in seeing how people in Africa live and as well as seeing their faith.” It was an important lesson on materialism. “They continue to contribute out of their allowances to Pilgrim Africa as well as to the Redeemer,” and all would like to go back to Uganda.

The Mills have also taken multiple trips with Episcopalian groups to aid in Katrina disaster relief in New Orleans. “We do this for two reasons: our desire for our kids to have this experience, and to give back for the many blessings we feel we have received from the Lord.”

The entire family has been active participants at the Redeemer: Graeme is currently leading a lunch-time Bible Study in the financial district, and has served on Vestry, Outreach, and a postulant discernment committee. Debby serves on the Altar Guild, and has served on the Vestry and run numerous events including the Christmas market and auction. She currently serves as co-chair of the Strategic Ministries. The children have all been Servers and Acolytes, and the two oldest have been Youth Assistants who assist in the Sunday School classrooms. They describe the Redeemer as a “core component of our lives.”

When Graeme was unexpectedly unemployed in 2003, he used the time to explore his spirituality, and the church was instrumental in his spiritual formation. “Debby has always had faith, but Redeemer has built upon it, and she was very pleased when I came to my faith.”

“Relationships here are deeper than in other environments.” Particularly in Bible Study, getting other people’s interpretations of faith and how they see the world through rigorous group engagement is attractive to Graeme. “It allows me to connect with people on an entirely different level.”

To visitors, he says “You should come, because it is a great place for fellowship and personal development in a non-threatening and non-judgmental environment.”